The List
by EnchantedDreamweaver
Summary: The war against the Earl has finally ended, and everyone returns alive. Komui can finally spend some time with his sister without wondering if she would die the next day. But there's still something he has to do... F!Allen
1. Chapter 1

The List

Summary: The Holy War has finally ended, with the Black Order victorious and every one alive. Life is supposed to be perfect now, but Komui still has one thing do. And how does this ties with Ellen?

Okay, I said that I was going to write a sequel to 'Home'. I had written a second chapter to 'Home' but in the middle it just got stuck on a scene and I couldn't finish it. Then I decided to just make a multichaptered fic based on an idea I was going to put in 'Home' and voila, 'The List' was born.

Warning: Serious angst, drama, Fem!Allen (I love gender-bender fics, for some reason. They're just so fun!) minor character death.

Pairings: LaviLena, onesided Yullen, KomuiFem!Allen (yes, I'm serious. It's going to be very slow-building, though. The plot calls for such a romance! If you don't like the pairing, don't worry. Komui won't be hopelessly smitten with Ellen the moment they're alone. In fact they're only get together at the last few chapters or so. What can I say, I have a thing for strange pairings.)

It wasn't often that the Black Order was silent. In fact, it was almost always filled with sounds, whether it was from Exorcists training to be stronger and hopefully not die in battle, the sound of funerals being held for the fallen comrades, or from the Science Division trying to deal with whatever malfunctioning invention Komui made.

People had differing opinions about the head supervisor of the Black Order. Some thought that he was nothing more than an eccentric with a sister complex bigger than the sun itself. Some thought that he was nothing more than an idiot who did more harm than good. A very small minority (namely the Komurins) hailed him as a genius and the greatest scientist to be born. There was one thing that they all agreed upon, though.

Komui Lee was not someone to be triffled with. After all, it took a special kind of smart (and crazy) to gain such a position at such a young age. As insane as his creations were, they weren't things that could be created in the span of a minute or by someone with a less than superior intelligence. His Komurins could be incredibly dangerous, if only he poured proper time and research into designing them. And his obsession with Lenalee was _scary._ Some people even considered to use his sister-complex to scare the Earl into submission.

(The above idea, by the way, quickly scrapped, the originator fired and disposed of, and the personnel files were hidden so deep in the Archive that not even a Bookman could possibly access. Everyone involved had their minds wiped and the idea was labeled as an absolute last resort- mainly because a battle between the Earl and a Lenalee-obsessed Komui would lead to the destruction of both sides in a truly spectacular and cataclismic manner)

At the moment, though, Komui was nothing more than a weary young man slumped tiredly over the desk in his office silently thinking about the days that had passed. The rest of the Order was celebrating the downfall of the Noah clan, but here he was reminiscing of the old days with no one to accompany him but a few old photographs and a bottle of booze. Komui hardly ever drunk, but he supposed that today was as good as ever. It wasn't everyday that you got to celebrate the destruction of your arch-enemy, after all. And Komui was surprisingly good at holding his liquor, unlike a certain white-haired female Exorcist, Ellen Walker.

_Ellen Walker. _Komui let out a sigh as he thought of the young girl. She had defeated the Earl, single handedly, almost at the cost of her own life. The sheer strain of wielding a parasitic innocence for days on the end, with almost no food, would be fatal for a lesser Exorcist. And her wounds -oh God, her wounds. Komui never thought that such a small body could possibly contain that much blood. As it was, they were lucky that Ellen's blood type matched with his own since most of the other Exorcists and personnel were injured during the battle. Even now Ellen was still unconscious, a fact that had put a damper on everyone's happiness.

And she wasn't showing any signs of waking up. Perhaps it was for the best, since her body was still in the process of healing. If she woke up, then she would be re-introduced to the new-and-improvised concept of absolute pain. God knew she needed to rest. If she was awake, then she would probably try to sneak away and cause even more harm to herself.

"Nii-san?" a voice called. Komui lifted his head to see Lenalee standing at the doorway. "Nii-san, what are you doing here alone? Wait, is that _alcohol? _You know you're not supposed to drink!" she exclaimed.

"Ah, come on, Lenalee, it's just a bit of _amazake _[1]. Besides, it's not like anyone around here is working, anyway." Which was true. The Final Battle, which had lasted for several days, had taken a lot out of everyone. Most of them were either relaxing, sleeping, or out cold in the infirmary.

"The last time you were drunk you destroyed half of the Headquarters, nii-san." Lenalee said in a dry tone.

"That was General Cross' fault! How was I supposed to know that he spiked my drink with vodka?" Komui protested.

"Uh-huh… and why, exactly, were you drinking with General Cross to begin with?" Lenalee asked, scepticism leaking into her voice. Komui huffed and crossed his arms.

"Well! I needed some help with an experiment of mine, and he was an ex-Order scientist before becoming an Exorcist, you know? I just wanted to ask for some help…"

"What experiment, nii-san? Was it one of your Komurin again?" Her voice was curious, tinged with just the right amount of threat.

"No! It's one of my _pet _projects!" _One out of many, of which I can't show to you until they're finished. _"It's a se~cret!" Komui said cheerfully.

"Nii-san! If it's anything dangerous then I'll-"

"Oh no, Lenalee. In fact, I bet that you'll _love _it." Komui rubbed his hands together. "You'll just have to wait and see, my dear sister~ Now shoo, shoo! I still need to finish my project!" Komui pushed Lenalee out of his office and locked the door. She could always use her Dark Boots to break the lock, but she would most likely destroy the wall along with it. Not a preferable scenario. Besides, she had a feeling that, maybe this once, her brother wouldn't mess up.

A mad cackle echoed through the halls of the Headquarters. Lenalee sweatdropped.

…On another thought, collateral damage sounded like a very, very good idea.

She was just about to kick the door with her Innocence when Reever popped out of the room adjacent to Komui's office. Her brother's assistant looked rather frazzled and tired, like he hadn't slept in weeks. He looked at Lenalee directly before saying, "Don't".

"Ehh?" Lenalee asked. "What do you mean, 'don't', Reever?"

"I know what Komui's doing, and it's perfectly safe. Well, probably. I still think that it's not possible, but I said the same thing about robots and he proved me wrong. Multiple times." Reever looked at Lenalee. "Have a bit more faith in your brother, Lenalee. He probably won't do anything dangerous."

"If you say so… wait, you said you know what my brother's trying to do?" Lenalee asked. "Mou! He won't tell me anything! He's so unfair."

"If it's any consolation, Miss Lenalee, I think it's meant to be a surprise for you. I'm pretty sure that he's only told a few people about this. Just me and General Tiedoll."

"Eh? General Tiedoll, you say?" Lenalee asked, perplexed. "Why would nii-san tell General Tiedoll? I don't think that nii-san has any particular interest in the arts…" Reever shook his head and frowned, as if annoyed with himself.

"Damn, I told you too much, Miss Lenalee. Well then, I need to get going. Aren't you supposed to be going somewhere too as well?"

"Umm. Not really. I was going to tell nii-san that it's lunch time already and ask him to have a lunch with me but…"

"Oh. Then if you don't mind, would you take these," Reever pulled out a tray of glass bottles, "to the infirmary? It's the medicine I promised the matron yesterday…"

"Of course I wouldn't mind," Lenalee smiled brightly at Reever. "I'm happy to be of help. At least I'm not sitting idle…" Reever could almost see the Cloud of Gloom ™ that shrouded Lenalee. During the last battle, she had been hurt and was forced to watch from the sidelines as Ellen and the rest fought for their lives. There was also the teeny-tiny fact that her Innocence could be the Heart and they couldn't afford to loose her, so they had forced her to stand by.

"Go, now. The Matron needs the medicine for everyone. Don't dawdle," Reever said kindly but sternly. Lenalee perked up immediately. She was intending to visit anyway. Much to his chagrin, Lavi hadn't been discharged yet and the boy could get… _restless _without any company. Lenalee fought down a small blush as she thought of the male Exorcist.

_Get a hold on yourself, Lenalee. He's a Bookman! He'll leave us soon…_

_I know… that's why I intend to enjoy his company for as long as I can. _

_Humph. You're only going to hurt our feelings more, in the end. This is stupid. You should forget about him. He's just a slimy Octopi._

_Slimy Octopi… you're channeling Nii-san, you know that?_

_Am not!_

Lenalee shook her head, trying to stop the debate that was taking place in her mind. God, that was disturbing. First sign of insanity: arguing with your own self. She made a small, sad smile and left. There were people, people who needed her, and she wasn't about to let them down.

Inside his office Komui sat on his chair, staring at the cup of _amazake _in his hand. While its alcoholic content was nowhere near enough to make him drunk, it was enough to loosen his mind and let his walls down. Alocohol worked wonders to make one's imagination run amok and that was exactly what Komui needed. He lazily watched the contents of his cup swirl around, his mind in a faraway land.

If he concentrated and imagined just hard enough, he could see the lovely faces of his parents. Komui still remembered his parents clearly, and it hurt him beyond anything that Lenalee had no recollection of them. He'd tried to be a substitute father for her, but he could never, ever be their mother. He remembered the day when Lenalee was born, he remembered the day they took Lenalee to the Chinese New Year festival, he remembered his life with his parents as clear as a summer day, everything. The alcohol helped him even more, the image of his mother's face getting clearer and clearer as he began to focus on one specific memory: that of Lenalee's birth. Closing his eyes with a smile, he picked up a brush and began painting.

* * *

><p><em>The Order is so silent, <em>Lenalee mused as she walked through the empty hallways, carrying a tray with a mug of coffee and a bowl of her nii-san's favorite curry. _Usually it's so lively and filled with sound. From Kanda's training, Lavi's pranks, nii-san's inventions gone wrong, among other things. Strange, I don't really miss it until it's gone. They're noisy, but somewhy those sounds make me feel safe. Now that it's quiet, though, everything feels so alien. So… not at home._

_Not that this place feels much like a home to begin with. We might be family in all but name, but this place has too, too many unpleasant memories to feel like home. A home is somewhere you feel safe, somewhere you know you can return to safely. This is a place where nii-san gives orders to people and send them to their demise. I can hardly blame him for that, but this place can never be my home._

_I wonder what onii-san is doing. He's been locking himself inside his room since yesterday. I really hope he hasn't hurt himself accidentally. Wouldn't be the first time that happened. Oh well, I can just use his spare room key. He hasn't gave me a reason to use it yet but it's his fault for making me worried._

_I don't want nii-san to get hurt, damn it. I can't loose him. I just can't. He's the pillar of my 'world', if I loose him then the entire universe would come down crashing all around me. Stupid onii-san. He fawns all over me, but can't he see that I'm worried about him too? I saw him drinking two weeks ago, that was bad enough, but now he hasn't came out of his bedroom for almost three days!_

"Nii-san? Are you inside?" Lenalee asked, knocking on the door. No answer. "Nii-san? Come on, Komui-nii, I've brought you some food. Starving yourself isn't healthy, you know." A pause. "I've made you coffee! Open the door, nii-san. Or I'll open it myself." Komui still didn't answer. Lenalee was getting worried. What if her brother had fainted from the lack of food? She fidgeted for a moment before giving The Ultimatum. "Onii-sama, if you don't open the door before I count to three, I'm kicking the door down!" Of course, she had her brother's spare room key but it didn't matter.

"One… two… three… alright nii-san, time's up. I'm entering with for-ehh!" Lenalee certainly hadn't expected that the door was unlocked and she could enter with ease. She almost fell down. Almost. Being a trained exorcist had its perks. Having very good balance, for one, which was helpful considering her fighting style. As it was, the mug of coffee on her tray merely sloshed spilling some of its contents. _Man, I'm getting clumsy. _

"Onii-san?" Lenalee inquired. Her brother's bedroom was dark. The lighs were off and the curtains were closed. She could vaguely see a human-shaped lump under the covers. Lenalee frowned and placed the tray of food on a table conveniently placed beside her. _Hey, where did that table come from? I didn't recall it being there. Oh well. Just another of the 'Seven Mysteries of the Black Order HQ' again, I guess._

Lenalee looked around her brother's room nervously. She hadn't entered her brother's room in- wait, now to think of it, she never entered her brother's room before. The Lee siblings were close, but they valued each other's privacy quite well. She knew for a fact that Komui never enter _her _bedroom without permission. And if he did… well, let's just say that his Komurins wouldn't be the only thing Lenalee destroyed.

Lenalee was a girl and thus, had a strict boy-hands-off policy regarding what she considered her 'territory' [2]. Not even her brother was exempt of that rule. Well. Maybe sometimes. Lenalee's eyes wandered around, taking a better look at her brother's life. A person's bedroom could tell you a _lot _about that person. Kanda's room was freakishly orderly and neat, devoid of any personal effects or decorations meaning that he was detached and distant, not having any particularly strong emotional attachment to something. The tidiness in the room was second only to Lavi's, whose bedroom was _perfectly symmetrical. _Although considering the amount of attention Lavi had for details, a damn near photographic memory, and Bookman upbringing, it was to be expected.

Komui's bedroom, in somewhat of a stark contrast to other people's white-painted walls, had panels of polished wood covering the wall. Not paint. Not wallpaper. The floor, as well, was covered with wooden panels and a soft greyish blue rug. Instead of, say, posters or photos, a 0.6x1.5 square meter tapestry hung vertically from the wall. It was red, covered with golden embroidery in the shape of Chinese characters. Lenalee was ashamed to admit, she never got the hung of reading Mandarin although she could speak it just fine. She knew, though, that the character on the top was how her clanname 'Lee' was written. Many words were sewn to the tapestry, all linked to others through golden lines. Lenalee's eyes narrowed as they followed the lines all the way to the bottom… there! She might be no good at reading hanzi but she could recognize her own name and Komui's easily. Some of the thread's color was brighter than others, meaning that they were sewn pretty lately. A needle and a roll of golden thread lied on the table, next to an open book. Curious, Lenalee picked up the book and looked at the front title.

_The Lee Clan History and Family Tree._

"It's a family tradition, you know," a voice shook Lenalee from her musings. She 'eep'-ed and jerked around to see her brother sitting up on the bed, a blanket covering him from waist-down. His face was unnaturally pale and there were bags under his eyes. His normally oh-so-neat hair was a mess. In other words, he looked like he hadn't slept for weeks.

"Nii-san? Are you alright? Are you ill? Should I call the matron?" Lenalee asked in a slightly horrified voice. Komui smiled uneasily and scratched his head.

"I'm fine, imouto-chan. It's just that," here he sighed and yawned, "I've been working on my project for the few days… or weeks… uhh, actually I don't really remember…" Komui sweatdropped. "I really want to finish them as soon as I can."

"Well! That's no excuse for torturing yourself like that, nii-san! Have you ate anything at all for the last three days? Or slept? Or taken a bath? Sheesh, nii-san, at this rate you'll kill yourself before an Akuma does! You can't even care for yourself properly!" Lenalee started ranting at the elder Lee. And then found herself at the receiving end of a huglomp. A combination of a hug and a glomp.

"AWW! YOU CARE FOR ME SO MUCH, IMOUTO!" Komui cried, holding on to Lenalee like she was his lifeline. In many ways, she was. She was the only relative he had in this world. He had taken care of Lenalee for so many years since their parents died and even before that. He'd worked so hard to become the head supervisor of the Black Order for her. And that wasn't even putting into factor the amount of times Lenalee had protected him from Akuma, at the risk of her own life.

"Yes. Yes, I do. But you have to learn to care for yourself as well, onii-san!" Lenalee groaned. Typical. Just typical. Then she remembered what Komui said before and pulled herself out of the hug. "Nii-san, what did you mean by 'it's a family tradition'?"

Komui sighed, and suddenly looked like the weight of the world had been put on his shoulders. He looked like he had aged twenty years in the span of a second. It caught Lenalee off guard.

"Well, in our family, the Lee clan, it's a tradition for a mother to make something like this for her children. To make a family tree, and write down the story of the generations down in a book. So that we wouldn't forget our own heritage. I have my own, I'll show you later. Our mother was making one for you and had almost finished when she… you know. I thought she'd want you to have it, so I finished it." Komui examined his work closer. "I have shoddy needlework, huh…? God, this is awful. I never really got the hung of it, even when our mother tried to teach me. I would have corrected it, but I was too sleepy and then you came in. And I wanted to make it a surprise for you too."

Lenalee felt guilty now. "Onii-san, I'm so-" she said before getting interrupted.

"It's alright, imouto," Komui chuckled. "Shouldn't have kept it as a secret from you anyway." He ruffled Lenalee's hair fondly.

"Onii-saaan~ I spent hours combing it!" Lenalee whined. Then she looked at the tapestry again. "So this… this is our family tree? Geez, I didn't know that our family was this big. I can't believe it. Al the time, it was only you and I…"

"Oh, our family was really big [3]. Every time we had a reunion the house would be crowded. I remember our father having to sleep on the couch after you were born because a lot of our relatives came visiting. Father used to tell lots of stories involving his childhood… heh, even now I still remember most of them."

"Really? Can you tell me more, nii-san? Please?" Lenalee was incredibly eager. She rarely heard Komui mentioning their parents, if at all. It wasn't a topic Komui liked talking about, understandably. Still, she wanted to know more of her parents. How they looked like, what they liked to do, what kind of person they were… Lenalee didn't remember much about the incident that killed their parents, just the feeling of immense fear and tall flames burning everywhere. Komui nodded and smiled at her before repostioning them so that she was sitting on his lap.

"Of course, my darling imouto. Well, there was Father and Uncle Chunh's Monkey Incident…"

-To be continued

* * *

><p>[1] Amazake is a special variety of sake (japanese rice wine) with ver lof alcoholic content. So low, in fact, that it can be given to children. Some people also think that it has medicinal properties. In any case, drinking amazake usually won't make you drunk, unless you have really, really low tolerance to alcohol like Sousuke Sagara from Full Metal Panic (who had a large portion of his liver removed due to a bullet wound and thus his system couldn't neutralize as much alcohol as most people)<p>

[2] Eh, girls can be really territorial. I'm a girl, and someone touching my things without permission is a major Berserk Button for me. Like my brother, who borrowed my laptopn without telling, can certainly attest to. I don't like it when anyone enters my room too. Lenalee even more so, as she's living in a military order where men are the majority. Besides, when you live in a universe when anyone around you can be killing machine in disguise you have every right to be paranoid

[3] …Before you protest about China's One Child Only policy, please remember when DGM is set. It's set around the late 1800's to early 1900's. I don't think China had the problem of overpopulation at that point though I'm no historian so I don't really know. Besides this is DGM, the absence of a lot of the population can be easily credited to akuma. Seeing how China is pretty close to Japan (which has been overrun by akuma and is the base of the Noah family) I think it's pretty plausible.

O…kay, this was definitely longer than I expected. This was an idea I was going to put in the second chapter of Home (I was going to make I a two-shot but the second chapter was stuck and it can be a standalone story just fine) but I decided against it. Again, yes, Ellen will be paired with Komui. Because, I dunno, the pairing just meshes well together in my mind. Considering the plot, it's only logical.

So, what did you guys think about it? Obviously, the main plot hasn't started yet. The titular List won't even enter the story until another few chapters. This is just a set up for everything. I like to take things slowly, especially with the fluff. And I _love _sibling bonding time, teehee. Komui and Lenalee are adorable. I can totally see Komui trying to do something like that for Lenalee. Hey, this is the sister-complex guy who would build killer bots to protect his sister from suitors we're talking about. And I want to make Komui a softie at heart. Rawwr. And about the 'projects' Komui's been mentioning… sorry amigo, that's for me to know and for you to find up later (Really, really later). Anyways, this story will be pretty short and I have most plotpoints planned out in my mind. Expect angst. A lot of angst. And drama, can't forget that too. And major WAFFiness. Mmm, I can practically taste the fluff. Don't forget to read and review people!


	2. Chapter 2

The List

"This is normal speech"

_This is a person's thoughts_

This is a song, or someone singing (By the way, I made it all by myself. No wonder it sucks. XP)

Chapter 2

"Nii-san?" Lenalee interrupted Komui as he told her a story about a time that their 'Cousin Fei' managed to get on the bad side of every women in the village thanks to a backfiring prank, "Is anyone still alive?"

Komui paused in his story and considered how to answer such a question. "I don't know, little sister." _But I intend to find out. _"The last time I saw them was over a decade ago. Sorry." He gave her a strained smile.

Lenalee hated it when her brother had that smile. It was so broken and filled with pain. He had that smile whenever someone joined the order. He had that smile whenever he handed out missions to his subordinates. He had that smile when people returned back in body bags.

_Nii-san… why won't you let me share your pain? Why do you insist on hiding it from me? From us?_

"Do you _think_ anyone survived? Be honest with me, nii-san."

This time Komui didn't hesitate to answer Lenalee's question. "Yes. I do."

"…" Lenalee didn't say anything, she only held on to her brother even tighter. "That's good to hear," she muttered, clutching the the front of Komui's shirt. _If I had it my way, nii-san, I would hold on to you forever, and never let you go. _

"You sound sleepy, imouto."

"Yeah, about that… I've been having trouble sleeping lately," Lenalee confessed guiltily. _Am I really that transparent, nii-san? Why is it that you can read my feelings so easily, while yours is so hidden? _Komui hmm-ed and started rocking lightly, still hugging Lenalee.

"You know, our mother used to sing us a lullaby every night. She had a very beautiful voice…" Komui started to hum the song softly under his breath.

I know of a meadow in the forest where the fireflies come to gather

And the wind whistles through the leaves

So close your eyes and grab my hand, let me lead you to a place without sorrow

Hey, can you hear it?

The cicadas cry in the night calling o'er

I know of a meadow in the forest where the river runs through

And the lotus blooms forevermore

So grab a lantern and hold my hand, let me take you to a haven of peace

Hey, can you hear it?

The cicadas cry for our happiness 

…

"Komui! Lenalee! Guess what!" 'Lavi' barged into the room unceremoniously, breaking the tender moment between them. He skidded to a stop when he saw Komui hugging/cuddling a sleeping Lenalee in his arms. The elder Lee glared at him in annoyance.

"What is the matter, _Bookman Junior?" _he hissed lowly. Unlike others, Komui had no delusions regarding the nature of the Bookmen's work. 'Lavi' was nothing but a fake persona that would soon cease to exist the moment his time at the Black Order was done. So he refrained from calling him 'Lavi', because it would only make the separation harder and more hurtful.

"Ellen's awake!" Somehow, 'Lavi' managed to convey his happiness and excitement in a whisper. Komui's eyes widened the fraction of a centimeter. "She woke up half an hour ago, but the matron was running tests and making sure she was fine beforeshe told us."

"I see." Komui's response was mechanical. He gently placed Lenalee on the bed. She had somehow managed to sleep through Lavi's yelling. Maybe she was more exhausted than she appeared to be. "Would you please watch over my sister for me, Bookman Junior? I need to visit the infirmary."

"Uhh, sure," Lavi agreed. He was rather surprised. Normally Komui would never let a boy in the same room as Lenalee unsupervised, much less if she was asleep. Komui beamed at him and patted his head.

"Good boy!" Komui walked out of the room, but paused at the doorway. "Oh, and Bookman Junior? If you even so much as think of touching Lenalee indecently, you'll wish that you've never been born. My cameras are watching~" Komui walked away, leaving one shaky, fearful Lavi Bookman behind.

_I meant it, Lavi. Please, don't hurt my sister even more than you're already doing. I know she likes you, and if I had it my way then she would have never met you. I would never let her go. Unfortunately, even the youngest hatchling will eventually have to learn how to fly and leave its nest behind._

Komui lingered in front of the infirmary door, unsure whether he should enter or not. Sure he was worried and he wanted to see her, but he did not want to disturb Ellen or anyone else. His hand hovered over the doorhandle for a few seconds before he decided to-

Brakk!

Face, meet door. Door, face.

"Aaahh!"

"Komui? Wahh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It's all my fault! I'm so useless!" Miranda wailed as Komui fell to the floor with his hands clutching his nose. Oww. Who knew getting a door slammed at your face hurt so much? He rubbed his nose as he tried to reassure Miranda who, in typical Miranda-ish fashion, was blaming herself.

"I'm okay, Miranda. Really! It's not your fault, you couldn't have known that I was there."

"B-but *sniff* I hurted you, Komui," she sniffled, her eyes still watery.

"Maa, maa, I'm fine. You know that I'm made of tougher stuff than that!"

"TIMOTHY HEARST! _COME BACK HERE!"_

Their conversation was rudely interrupted by the Matron's shouting. Komui let out a yelp as he felt something, or someone, trample all over his body.

"ACK!"

And once again, Komui's innocent face met with a solid… something. Said something appeared to be Timothy's boots. Which wasn't as strong as Lenalee's Innocence, mind you, or Komui's brain would have been reduced to the consistency of chunky salsa. But it still hurt. Komui could have sworn he heard a soft 'CRACK' reminiscent of broken bones.

"Sorry Komui! Sorry Miranda! Gotta go, bye!" And Timothy dashed away, leaving Komui and Miranda in a tangled heap on the floor.

"Oww…" a dazed and bruised Komui muttered, holding his rapidly swelling, and probably broken nose.

"Oh, my. Supervisor, are you alright?" the Matron asked. She extended her hand and helped him get up.

"Wha' did Dimodi do now?"

"He was having a cold, but he refused to take medicine," the Matron said, shaking her head. "I wasn't going to force him, since it's not so bad, but he misunderstood and when he tried to escape he managed to run into the medicine cabinet and broke everything. It's an absolute mess now."

"I dink my nose 's broken," Komui muttered. Blood was flowing down his nostrils and all over his clothes. There was also a dark bruise starting to grow on his forehead, the shape of Timothy's left boot.

"Sadly, you're right. Come in, let me have a look. Are you alright, Miss Miranda?"

"I'm fine," Miranda muttered. "But I'm so useless…" she sulked.

"Now now, none of that, young lady!" the matron said sternly. "If you want to be useful, then go to the kitchen and fetch me a pack of ice and towels. And try to find some painkillers while you're at it."

"Y-yes!" Miranda obeyed and hastily left. Komui followed the matron inside and sat down on a chair.

"Stay still," she warned as she began poking and prodding at Komui's nose. "Well, fortunately for you, it's not so bad. It'll probably be healed in several weeks."

"I can lib wid dad," Komui muttered. Other people had been through worse. He sighed, taking care to breathe through his mouth instead of through his nose. That didn't meant that he wouldn't make Timothy pay, though. The next time he was due for an Innocence check-up, Komui would make sure to bring out some of his more, ah, special implements. Yes, yes, that sounded like a good plan. MUAHAHAHAHA.

-Ahem. Getting back on topic now.

"Is Ellen alright? I heard that she's awake," he asked. The matron turned towards him.

"Oh, that's right. You were going to see her, weren't you? Well, I suppose you can do so, but try not to tire her out too much. She's still weak."

_Weak. Ellen Walker and weak are not two phrases I'd ever thought to include in the same sentence._

Ellen's room was separated from the rest of the infirmary. The smell of medicine and disinfectant made him gag. Like all rooms, the walls were painted a broken white. It was rather small and cramped and lacked any visible decorations. Even the curtain was plain, white fabric. Right under the window was small bed, upon which lied one Ellen Walker.

Komui had to stop himself from flinching at the sight. She was far, far paler than Komui remembered and was comfortable with. Her white hair was dull, lacking its natural luster, and was a bit longer than Komui remembered. An IV drip was connected to her thin, frail-looking wrist. The young Exorcist General turned her head towards Komui and a wide smile bloomed on her face.

"Komui!" she exclaimed, pushing herself upright or at least trying to. She hissed in pain and grabbed her midsection. "Oww. Hurts." Then she looked at the mess that was his face.

"Umm, is your nose broken? What happened? Did an Akuma attack or something?" she asked worriedly

_Typical. Even in a state like this she still worries for other people. Do us a favor, Ellen. Never change that part of your personality._

"Timothy knocked me down and kicked me in the face." _Man, that sounds re~ally humiliating. I mean, getting knocked down and kicked by a brat not even half my age? Ack. Talk about embarassing. _"But enough talking about myself. How're you feeling?" Komui sat down on a chair next to Ellen's bed. Her face scrunched up in distaste.

"Not really good," she admitted. "My body hurts. And," she raised her deformed left arm from under her covers, "I can't feel my left arm. It's numb."

"It should be," Komui nodded. "Hevlaska made sure you would not be able to use your Innocence until you're fully healed."

"Why?" she demanded, eyes blazing.

"Because if you weren't paralyzed, you would hurt yourself even more by using your Innocence," Komui said. "We agreed that it would be for the best. You should be resting. Not hunting Akuma." Then his expression softened. "You're not going to turn into a Fallen One, silly, if that's what you're worried about." _Not after everything you've went through. We won't let it happen._

"I know. But- there's still so many Akuma out there. I can't just let them alone! I have to save them!" she protested. Komui's lips thinned and he gave her a stern look.

"You think that's not we've been trying to do all the time?" Komui asked. "Good Lord, Ellen, what do you think we've been doing all these years? Lazying around? Do you think you're the only one who wants to save them?" He stood up and started pacing around. "We might not have the same… ability as you do, but that doesn't mean that you have to do it alone!"

_You're not alone. Please, just this once, let us handle this for you. It's the least we can do after everything you've done for us._

"I know!" Ellen growled, unhappy at being patronized so. "I just want to save them…"

Komui sighed. "I understand, Ellen, but please just this once, let us handle this. It's not your duty alone. Besides, you're going to be stuck here for quite a while and forcing your Innocence will just injure yourself even worse."

"Fine!" Ellen huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Then an almighty rumble came from her stomach. A luminescent blush appeared on her cheeks. "Umm, Komui, would you mind…"

"Yeah, I'll get you some food," Komui said and left for the kitchen.

-Several minutes later-

"What _is _this? What kind of food is this? I want real food!" Ellen wailed. Komui was _not _amused.

"It's called porridge. Rice porridge."

"It's… lumpy. And tastes bland. I can't eat this!"

"Well, tough luck, because it's all you'll get until the doctor gives the okay."

"At least you could add something like, I dunno, soy sauce or ketchup?"

"Nuh-uh, no can do. And it's either this or nothing at all"

Ellen sniffled. "Food is food, I guess." She ate her food with less gusto than usual.

"Huh. Considering how long you've been out I expected you to eat more than usual," he commented. Ellen paused in her eating.

"How long _have_ I been out, anyway? I know I've been unconscious for at least a few days."

Komui counted on his fingers. "Eh… At least seventeen days, I think."

-Beat-

"SEVENTEEN DAYS!"

"Ayup. Maybe more."

"…Geez. No wonder I'm so hungry."

_Well, that wasn't what I expected. Thought she would yell at me or something. Though in hindsight, it should be expected that her appetite has increased. There's only so much nutrition an IV can provide, after all, and it's not like we could feed her food while she was in a coma._

"You want more?"

"No!" *Stomach growl* "Umm… maybe?"

*sigh* "I'll go get it." _Since when had I turned into a maid? Well, not that I'm arguing… it's the least I can do for her, after saving us all. She's my charge, an Exorcist under my command. Should I not try to serve her best interests? In the end, that's the only thing I can do. I can't fight like Exorcists. I can't roam the world and search for Innocence fragments, risking my life every day like the Finders. In the grand scheme of things, that is the only thing I can do. Serve. _

*Blink* okay, this one's shorter than before, but I'm going to post the third chapter soon so bear with me, mmkay?

I just realized that Ellen is rather (rather? coughreallycough) OOC. Oh well. Can't help with that. I really like writing things from Komui's POV. He's not a character many people like to explore.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The Diary of Komui Lee.

_Date: 31 July 1888_

_It's yet another funeral today. The finders we sent to Russia died, though this time, not due to akuma but due to a freak blizzard. Yes, in the middle of summer. I don't know for certain what caused it, but we think that it's caused by a rogue Innocence that's been plaguing the area. The finders were accompanied by General Yeegar, who managed to survive thanks to his own Innocence. I think. But the General isn't in a very good state, due to his age and all. It's a miracle he's survived. I hesitate to send him off again, but there isn't any other choice. He insisted to go once the Matron gave the okay. I had to let him go, since he's one of the few generals we have and he's our most experienced exorcist._

_It's a sad thing, to witness how our own soldiers are killed by God's Crystal. If only I knew, then maybe I wouldn't have sent them on that mission. Just like all others, I have no other choice but to cremate their bodies and keep their deaths a secret. It's our policy. We can't send news to the family, because tragedy is what calls the Earl to create an Akuma._

_I do not want to dishonor their sacrifice by letting the Earl turn them into monstrosities. For the sake of the world, we have no choice but to make them 'disappear'. It's cruel and unkind and I don't want to do it, but it makes more sense to do so. Or maybe, not 'makes more sense', it feels so wrong. It's logic. Nothing but cold, unemotional logic._

_Sometimes, I really, REALLY hate logic._

_Date: 10 August 1888_

_We've got a new Exorcist today, a girl by the name of Ellen Walker. She's a Parasitic type, and General Cross's apprentice. Strange as it might seem, on a girl as young as her, she has snowy white hair. It's probably one of her more noticable features, other than the curse mark she bears. The curse mark is the reason why the Gatekeeper, upon seeing her, mistook her as an Akuma._

_Alright, it was my fault. General Cross sent me a letter of recommendation, but it got lost. On my desk. But I've been incredibly busy the last week, with the failed mission and the funeral and all of the paperwork (PAPERWORK!). And I've been working on my own project._

_Alright, I confess. My 'project' is nothing but my own personal guilt relief. Working on it makes me feel less guilty for sending people to their deaths, letting them be killed by the very thing that's supposed to save them. It hurts less, when you know that you're trying to make something that will prevent it from happening again._

_But in the end, that's what it is. Nothing but just guilt relief._

_Date: 13 August 1888_

_I've been fairly busy the last day, analyzing Ellen's Innocence. It's a strange thing, especially since she claimed that it's been with her since she could remember. Most Parasitic Innocence doesn't join with its wielder until later, like in the case of Suman Dark. So, naturally, I had to take a sample of it. Just a tiny bit, not enough to hurt her or anything. She's got a fairly high level of synchronization, though it's the norm for Parasitic wielders. _

_Okay, I confess. I might have traumatized her a bit, when I took that sample under the guise of a check up. But my drill's the only thing I know that can pierce Innocence, and a guy's gotta have his stress relief. Besides it's for SCIENCE!_

_Date: 11 September 1888_

_Ellen and Kanda has returned from their mission to Mattel safely, bringing the Innocence back. Hevlaska is safekeeping it. They're later than I expected, because Ellen insisted on waiting until the doll Lala broke._

_The look in Ellen's eye is haunting. It's one I've seen many, many times. Ellen has a highly idealized view of the world, surprisingly so for one under Cross' tutelage. And she has it broken, right in front of her eyes. She told me the story of Lala and Guzol. It feels like a warped, twisted version of a fairy tale. But then again, it's not a fairy tale. In a fairy tale, everything ends up happily. In real life, not everyone gets a happy ending, and she learns it the hard way. Kanda knows better than that, though. He's cynical and cold, Ellen's polar opposite. Together they make a good match; Ellen sooths Kanda's agitable temperament and gives him the idealism he needs, and Kanda's the one who forces her to see the world more realistically, preventing her from getting killed due to ridiculous notions._

_Why do you think I paired them off together? I'm the Supervisor. I pair off people who would make the best team, so that they would have more chances of survival._

_And, no, I didn't pair Kanda with Ellen so that he wouldn't spend more time with Lenalee. Nope, not at all. And it certainly has nothing to do with me playing matchmaker between them, or betting on who'd kill the other first. Of course not, what kind of ridiculousity are you spouting?_

_Date: 20 October 1888_

_Lenalee and Ellen are getting quite close. I'm not surprised, Ellen is the only female exorcist around Lenalee's age, after all. I've heard them discussing clothes, makeup and *shudder* shopping. I'm just surprised that they haven't talked about boys yet._

_Or maybe it's because they don't want to, not until after the war is finished. I can understand it. It would be incredibly difficult to have romantic relationship when you're not certain whether you'd live until tomorrow, after all. The death of a loved one hurts deeply, and not having emotional attachments is easier, less painful. Why do you think I don't want Lenalee to get married or even have a romantic relationship? I do not want her to face such pain._

_In any case, I'm happy to see them get along. Lenalee needs a partner to help her in battle and, more importantly, a friend she can rely on. It's rather hypocritical of me, especially after talking about how personal attachments will only cause pain, but I'm not so blind so as not to see how important friendship is. I'm not someone who can carelessly discard emotion like Bookmen. It's practically impossible to sever any emotional ties to people around us. And maybe, just maybe, Lenalee can have a taste of what it feels to be _normal.

_Heh… normal. Just who the hell I think I'm trying to kid?_

_Date: 29 October 1888_

_We've received news of a potential Innocence in Germany. A town has been trapped in a temporal loop, closed off in a barrier that prevents anyone from coming in or out. It's almost certain that it's caused by Innocence, in my opinion, because there just can't be any other explanation!_

_I sent Lenalee and Ellen to retrieve it. I trust them, both of them. Lenalee's a fine exorcist, and Ellen needs more experience. Besides, I want them to get closer and know each other better._

_Nothing will go wrong, right?_

_Date: 15 November 1888_

_Lenalee and Ellen returned today, along with one new Exorcist. She's the accomodator for the Innocence that caused the time loops. Her name is Miranda, and she's an Equipment type user. From what I've seen, Miranda's Innocence has control over time. She used it to rewind time during the mission and momentarily heal Lenalee and Ellen's injuries. Unfortunately, when she stops invocating the wounds will return. Maybe I'd have her learn some first-aid medical skills to support her Innocence, but first we have to do something about her clumsiness and suicidal tendencies!_

_According to what Ellen told me, the mission went smoothly at first. After determining that the time loop was caused by Miranda's wish that 'tomorrow would never come', they tried to help her find a job and make her happier. Unfortunately, a member of the Noah clan appeared all of a sudden and blew the plan out of the water. Miranda managed to help them escape after synchronizing with her Innocence for the first time, but they didn't escape unscathed. Lenalee is still unconscious from her wounds, and the mission costed Ellen her left eye. Well, for the moment anyway. According to Bookman senior's observation, Ellen's left eye is beginning to regenerate from the damage. At first we had wrote it off as a lost case considering that the Noah had stabbed her eye with something pointy, but beyond all reason, it's healing quite well._

_I've never asked Ellen about how she got that curse of hers. Maybe I should spend some effort into researching about it. The ability to detect Akuma is incredibly practical and would help us a lot._

_Date: 1 December 1888_

_We received news about General Yeegar's death today._

_I don't know what to think of it. On one hand, General Yeegar was quite old and had far exceeded an Exorcist's normal life expectancy. On another hand, I feel that I've had a hand, however small, in his death. _I _was the one who issued the order for him to search for Innocence and train new apprentices. I was the one who let him continue his mission so soon after he was injured._

_But there's more. General Yeegar's death wasn't normal. According to the report, he was found crucified backwards on a tree, the words 'God Hunt' carved on his back. And according to the coroner, General Yeegar had several of his internal organs removed without any sign of wounds or surgery._

_I have no doubt that somehow the Noah Clan is involved. There can't be any explanation. They are targeting the 'Heart of Innocence', the one that powers all Innocence in the world. If the Heart is destroyed, then all other Innocences will be destroyed too. I have no other choice but to send the exorcists off to find the Generals and make sure that they are safe. That means… that means I'll have to send Lenalee too. But as much as I wish I can keep her safe forever… I can't. Even the most protective mother will have to let her own child grow up and leave her, after all. That doesn't mean that I wish I could have her by my side all the time, though._

_This job really, really sucks._

_Date: 2 December 1888_

_Against my better judgment, I sent the exorcists off to find the Generals. We need to tell them about the Noah Clan's plan. I sent off Lenalee, Bookman, Ellen and Lavi to find General Cross. I feel rather bad for Ellen, she's obviously terrified of Cross, but she has Timcanpy and knows Cross personally. I just hope that they could return safely…_

_Date: 4 December 1888_

_Lavi sent me a message through his golem yesterday. He and Ellen found a new accomodator, Arystar Krory the Third. He hasn't told me any details yet, but it seems that Krory is a parasitic accomodator. It also seems that Ellen's curse has returned and grown stronger. It has a larger radius now, and it can even allow other people to see the Akuma's soul._

_I wonder if it's possible to replicate the curse. I know, that it's called a curse for a reason, but it would very beneficial if more members could detect Akuma. Then again, Lavi did tell me that the world he saw through Ellen's cursed eye, is a world of Hell._

_My dear Lenalee also told me that they're going to China, to a brothel Cross is rumored to frequent. _

_Why do I have such a bad feeling about this?_

_Date: 11 December 1888_

_Received bad news today. Ellen is MIA after trying to subdue Suman Dark who has Fallen. The unnatural pattern of Akuma in the area suggests the presence of a Noah. Will try to contact the Asian Branch and talk to Bak Chang._

_Is it my fault? If I hadn't sent her to find Cross, would she be alright? I don't know, but Lenalee told me that her Innocence was beginning to crumble from overuse. I should have noticed that, dammit! I know of her hero complex, how she hates to see the tortured souls within akuma and would push herself beyond her personal limits every day. I should have forseen something like this. Ellen is far, far too innocent for her own good._

_If I hadn't sent her to Rewinding Town with Lenalee, would she had her eye gouged out?_

_If I had let Suman stay with his daughter just a little bit longer, would he become a Fallen?_

_If I hadn't sent General Yeegar to find more accomodators, would he have died?_

_If, if, if. So many ifs. So many questions, and not enough answers._

_Date: 14 December 1888_

_Good news: Ellen is no longer missing._

_Bad news: She is seriously injured, and her Innocence has apparently turned into fog-like particles that surronds her in the air. Baka Bak said that she had attempted to invocate with her Innocence again, and reform her Innocence but so far, no progress._

_He said that he's employing Fou's method of training: throwing lethal attacks and punches and hope for Ellen to survive. I can't say that I agree with it; after all, she's still injured and Fou isn't known for her gentle ways but I can see Bak's point. It's a well known fact that Innocence synchronizes with its accomodator often during times of great distress. _

_On another point, I am incredibly surprised about what Bak discovered. Apparently Ellen had a run-in with a particularly sadistic Noah, who took pleasure in torturing her and making a hole in her heart, before leaving her to bleed to death. It would have killed her, if not for the fact that a chunk of her Innocence entered her body and sealed the hole in her heart. It's fascinating- not only her Innocence didn't disperse completely, but it actually showed some sentience and saved her life! _

_Date: 15 December 1888_

_Bak sent me another message. The Asian Branch was attacked by a Level Three akuma and got utterly destroyed. But somehow, in all of the chaos, Ellen managed to re-invocate with her Innocence. _

_Somewhy, it wasn't a real surprise to me. She is the 'Destroyer of Time', the one whom Innocence decided to save. Honestly, I'd be more surprised if she _failed _to re-invocate. The way she sees herself, though, as nothing more than a weapon who exists to purify Akuma… I find it chilling. It's the same way the Order considers Accomodators as soldiers of God. The same mindset that justifies taking away Accomodators from their own family, kicking and screaming, that justifies practically enslaving and torturing our fellow human beings. _

_You're wrong, Ellen. You're not just a weapon, not just someone whose sole purpose of existence is to be a savior. That's wrong. You don't need to carry that burden by yourself. You're just human, like all of us._

_Date: 25 December 1888_

_It's Christmas. The exorcists returned today, Lenalee safe and sound. Injured, but she's still alive. _

_I couldn't have asked for a better gift._

_As long as you're here with me, Lenalee, everything will be okay._

_Date: 27 December 1888_

_The exorcists are finally healed and rested enough to report to me about what happened during their mission. I find myself half-disbelieving at their tale. To find out that Noah's Ark doesn't only exist but also a fully-working, if sinister relic of the past… well, lets just say, it's probably one of the greatest scientific discovery to date. The only thing I find confusing, is how it landed in Edo, Japan. Didn't the biblical Ark land on Mount Ararat?_

_I also find myself dismayed at the descriptions they gave me. The akuma are already tough enough. Oh, sure, we knew about the existence of the Noah Clan, and we knew that they were powerful. We just had no idea of the extent of their power. Now that we know, though, it becomes even clearer that the war we fight will be an incredibly steep uphill battle. _

_I'm also surprised that Ellen, somehow, managed to stop the White Ark's destruction. By playing a piano. Sure, I've seen more bizarre things considered that Innocence can make anything possible, but my point is that she managed to revive just about everyone on the Ark and rebuild an entire… building? Structure? From scratch, all by herself. Wasn't it said that only Noahs can control the Ark? If so… no, I don't want to go into that line of thought. It's impossible. Ellen's a Critical Point Breaker with over 100% synchronization. One who her own Innocence had saved, even in its dispersed state. She is God's favored child, one of His apostles._

_She can't be one of the Noah, or be in league with them. I refuse to acknowledge what Leverrier told me. Even if he sent his lapdog to watch over Ellen and try her for heresy. She's so sweet, so caring. She dedicates her entire life to save Akuma and humans. There are saints who'd done less. Buddha would be jealous of her devotion, so how could she possibly be one of those sadistic, superhuman monsters? _

_Then again, Noah was originally one of God's prophet. One who finally had enough of humanity and let divine punishment rain on them. Now look at what the Earl's 'family' call themselves._

_Date: 20 January 1888_

_It's been… a bad day, today. Not one of the best days in my life. Definitely in the low five, right down there along with the day our parents died, and the day Lenalee was taken from me. No, make this a _bad week.

_We discovered that Lenalee's Dark Boots were damaged. Her sychronization rate had fallen, and very badly at that. It stopped at a 10%. Ten percent. It wasn't even enough to attempt invocation. I strongly fear for Lenalee and what this newest development means._

_We've been studying the Akuma Egg we managed to retrieve from the Ark. Hopefully it will allow us to understand more about the nature of Akuma. But… the main problem we've been facing is that the Egg defies any and everything we know. It's just… something like it should not even exist. It defies everything science stands for. Its properties, its structure, its function, its ability. They are all impossibilities. It's something that's so horrible, an abomination that should never exist. Not something I'd like to keep or stay around more than necessary._

_Then, that Noah woman (Lulubell, I think her name is) came and attacked the Science Division. She wanted to reclaim the Akuma Egg. I'd gladly hand over that… thing back to her, if not for the fact that like its name suggests, it creates Akuma. It's one of their biggest assets. We can't let them have it back. It's a dangerous artifact, one that we can't let them have._

_The Level Four Akuma was something taken straight out of a nightmare. It wasn't grotesque or heinous or ugly. It looked almost angelic, like a seraph. A twisted, broken parody of a seraph. The most humanoid of the akuma, taking the form of an angel. The irony almost hurts. I don't know what kind of state its soul was in, but judging by Ellen's reaction, it had to be bad._

_I don't know what to say about Lenalee's transformation either. One moment she was with me, unable to do anything thanks to her damaged Innocence (haha… that sounds so… wrong). The next moment, her Innocence had turned into liquid form and she drank all of it._

_It's hard to describe how terrified I felt. I don't think there's any words to describe it. I don't really remember what happened next either. Everything was a blur. You know how life is supposed to pass right before you just before you die? It was like that, but with Lenalee as the focus. I saw Lenalee as a newborn baby crying in Mother's arm. I saw Lenalee wide-eyed and not understanding the destruction around us in the aftermath of our parent's death. I saw her taken away from me by the Black Order. I saw her crying in my arms after we were reunited. _

_Everything in my life has always been about Lenalee, hasn't it? Being there for her, always trying to be her strength, the pillar which she leans on. But she's grown to be such a brilliant young woman now, strong and capable of taking down a Level Four with help from the others. It seems that I will no longer need to walk behind her. She's strong now. She doesn't need me to be her crutch, she can walk alone. The realization is humbling, but I've always known that I can't protect Lenalee forever. Just… please, Lenalee, don't do something like that ever again._

_A lot of people died today. I find it hard to bring myself to read the casualty list, but I did it anyway. What kind of leader am I, if I don't even know who among my subordinates died because they followed my orders? It's the least I can do, to honor their sacrifice. Even though we can't give them a proper burial, or tell their family. They're just more names to be added on my List._

_We're still in the process of trying to clean up everything. It's a complete wreck, and those not dead are injured or too tired to do anything. Ellen has it the worst, even though her synchronization has surpassed 100%, she got injured to the point that she used her own Innocence to force her body to move, through sheer willpower. Stubborn girl. Doesn't she realize how much she means to me? To us? I have the feeling that she'd put herself through Hell again, and again, and again, if it meant that she could take down the Earl. Such is her determination and hatred._

_Pretty much the only good thing that came out of this is Dark Boots' evolution and the destruction of the Akuma Egg. The Egg is one of the Earl's greatest asset. If you cannot overtake an enemy's base, then destroy it. That's an unspoken rule of conventional warfare. One I wholeheartedly agree with._

_This has been a hellish week. Haa… talk about an understatement!_

_Date: 2 February 1889_

_It's been decided, we are to move to a new headquarters as soon as we can. I'll be busy helping around so this is probably going to be the last entry for a while._

_Honestly, I don't know what to say about Central's order to move away. It's going to be a real hassle, but it's less annoying than having to rebuild this one. The Level Four's attack was quite bad, and there's been some concerns that the building might not be stable enough to handle another attack. It's quie old, after all. The Black Order has been using this place for almost a century._

_On one hand, I've lived in this place for a long time. Long enough, that it's starting to feel like home. I can't deny it; the rest of the Order has become something akin to a family. A dysfunctional, chaotic family, but family nonetheless._

_But can I call this place home? The home I grew up in was filled with warmth and happiness. The home I grew up in was filled by a loving family. The home I grew up in, is now nothing but rubble. I had a true family, once. But then my parents died and Lenalee was taken away from me. Family doesn't send their own members to fight in wars. Family doesn't accuse each other of betrayal._

_Home… that's a name we call a place where we can feel safe. But we're never really safe, are we? _

_Date: 5 February 1889_

_Last night, there was a blackout and for once I had nothing to do with it. (IT WAS THE STORM'S FAULT, NOT ME ACCIDENTALLY SHORT-CIRCUITING THE FUSE BOX, ALRIGHT? WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS ASSUME THAT IT'S MY FAULT?)_

_What happened _during _the blackout, however, was another whole can of worms._

_It started simple enough. We were all busy packing our things to move to the new headquarters. We had finished packing our personal belongings, and we moved to the things from the Science Division. In hindsight, we should have been more careful but things happened and it all sort of snowballed from there._

_Bookman had bunny ears on his head. Lavi and Kanda got turned into younger, chibi versions of themselves. Ellen managed to get her hands on the hair tonic I gave to Bak last year, and ended up looking like a white-haired version of Rapunzel. I have to say, she looks better with long hair. It certainly suits her well. Though the semi-lustful gaze Kanda gave her was both amusing and borderline disturbing._

_Who knew Kanda had a hair fetish? I certainly didn't. Well. That certainly explains that long hair of hi- wait a minute. That would mean- EWW! That's going under the '' folder ASAP!_

_Anyway, the blackout wouldn't be too bad or even remotely life-threatening (well, maybe not for Miranda's clutziness…) under normal circumstances. But I probably should have known that nothing in the Headquarters is ever normal._

_See, I made a special serum not long ago, called Komuvitan D. It was supposed to help the Science Division, so that they would be more energetic and strip away all of our fatigue. Well, I did manage to create such a serum, but it was far, far too powerful. Instead of making the subject less tired, it turned them into zombie-ish… things. Mindless berserkers that would do everything to destroy their surroundings and infect other people by biting them. A bit like a virus, actually._

_Someone (or rather, something) managed to get its hands on the last bottle of Komuvitan D, which was hidden away, and infected Krory._

_Cue chaos._

_We~ll, maybe my Komurin also played a part in the chaos. I was bored, alright? There's nothing wrong with a little stress relief. Packing's boring. And the storm gave me an inspiration to continue my research. And as I said, the blackout WAS NOT MY FAULT, DAMMIT! Jeesh, people really need to stop blaming me for every little thing that's happened._

_Anyways, the situation was quickly resolved thanks to Bak making a vaccine for us. I was reluctant at first, letting Bak come here. Ha, does he think that I don't know that he's been stalking Lenalee? Hmm, maybe he needs a refresher course on the nature of sister-complexes? Yes, yes, that'd be good. Mmhmm. And maybe I should bring my drill out too! *cackles*_

_Uhh, where was I? Oh right, the blackout. Well, Bak managed to make the vaccine in no time. Disaster was thankfully averted. My first method of choice, of course, would be extracting the antibodies from the source of infection (that is to say, Krory). Bu~t, as you might have guessed from what I wrote, I was a little, ahem, indisposed at the time._

_What, no, I wasn't wreaking havoc with my Komurin! Okay, maybe I was. A little. But Ellen shamelessly seduced the Komurin into helping her. Huh, if only there was a way to use it against Akuma. Then our lives would be so much easier. Bishie Sparkle Attack ™ to the rescue! But actually, I was dealing with the one who had purposefully infected Krory with the Komuvitan D._

_It was a ghost. Or rather, _the _ghost. The ghost of the people used as the Order's lab rats. In a hundred years, there had been many experiments done to forcefully synchronize a person with Innocence. They usually end up really badly. The subjects almost always die, or were driven insane._

_She (it?) was only lonely, I think. She just didn't want us to leave her alone. She wanted others to remember her, to remember her sacrifice in this War. It had been such a long time since her death. She doesn't even remember her own name._

_I wonder if the same thing will happen to us… that the sacrifices we make will be nothing more than forgotten history._

_Date: 30 February 1889 -wrong, dammit, wrong! 2 March 1889_

_So many things have happened since I last wrote anything here._

_The new Headquarters is quite a sight. Its grandness far surpasses the dreary tower we've lived in for so long, though a part of me will always be attached to our old building. Though I cannot say that I enjoyed the travel. I've forgotten how much I dislike travel by water; it makes me nauseous and dizzy. But it's part of my job, so I can't complain._

_Ellen made an Ark gateway from the new headquarters for the other members to go through? Did I mention that Ellen, Lenalee, Johnny and I there went first because Ellen can't make a gate to a place she hasn't visited before? No? Oh well, my bad. _

_Looking at the gate makes me feel strange. No matter how much I've tried, I still can't figure out a logical, scientific explanation for it. Being a man of science and knowledge, it makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable._

_They finally allowed Ellen to meet with General Cross. Considering how much she seems to fear him (she ran away screaming, for God's sake!) I'm not really sure whether it was a good idea, yet I understand her need for closure._

_Is it worth mentioning that Cross disappeared not a week later? We found his room in a mess and blood was everywhere. His facemask lied shattered on the floor. Ellen took the loss a lot worse I thought she would. She had, for the lack of a better word, completely freaked out. I suppose Cross wasn't that bad of a master, even though her acts indicate otherwise._

_Date: 17 March 1889_

_We've found yet another Exorcist today. His name is Timothy Hearst, a young boy not even ten yet. He's a parasitic accomodator. His Innocence is a jewel imbedded in his forehead. It allows his soul to leave his body and takes the place of Akuma, and purifies them._

_He's so young. He's just a child. Why does such an innocent child has to be an Accomodator? It's so unfair. I don't think he can even comprehend the full extent of this war yet. But it's all so ironic, isn't it? For one Innocence to be found, then another innocence must be lost._

…_Damn, this is starting to kill me. I've long since resigned to the fact that my life will always be filled with blood and deaths, but I never wanted to involve children in this hellish world we live in. I don't want another repeat of what happened to Lenalee and I._

_Date: 30 March 1889_

_The Noah clan attacked the North American branch today. A lot of people died, and we lost the Third Exorcists to the Noahs' side, but the deepest wound they dealt to us is Alma Karma's reawakening._

_Alma Karma was one of the two successful results of the Second Exorcist experiment. The other one was Kanda Yu. I don't know much of the details, since it was before I entered the Black Order, but from what I was told, Alma went on a murderous rampage and killed almost everyone in the research lab before Kanda managed to 'kill' him. Alma went into a coma while his body was kept alive. _

_Like Kanda, Alma's body was much more resilient to injury and had high-level regeneration. It's one of the trait given to the Second Exorcists so that they could withstand the synchronization tests. It's also the only thing that allowed him to become the 'womb' for the Third Exorcists._

_The scientist had apparently managed to merge cells from the Akuma Egg with Alma's own. It then began to grow and spreaded inside him, like some sort of metastasizing cancer. It assimilated other cells, turning Alma's body into a host for them. Not unlike a virus, actually. It's fascinating, in a disturbing sort of way. The virus rapidly takes over and mutates the somatic cells like an alien invader. Eventually though, it would be too much for Alma, even with his regeneration abilities, and his body will begin to break down and cause his death._

_The same thing is happening to the Third Exorcists who have been implanted with Alma's cells as well, at a much slower pace. Maybe it's because they're still alive and active, so their body is still fighting against the akuma cells. If it continues at this rate then their body will begin to fail in about three years, give or take a few months. At which point, enough of their body would have been assimilated by the akuma cells to allow for the creation of more Thirds, turning them into Wombs._

_It's… scary. How could the Order, the organization that's supposed to fight Akuma, turn their own into Akuma hybrids and sacrifice them to make more? Aren't we supposed to be the good guys? I know about the previous experiments and the Second Exorcist program, of course, but the Third Exorcist program disturbs me so much. It's something that goes against everything I've learned, against the very basic codes of morality and human rights. It's a slow torture that will inevitably end with the Thirds deaths. Is it any wonder that they've turned against us?_

_Date: 10 April 1889_

_Morale has been incredibly low lately. Kanda is still MIA after the fight with Alma Karma. And he was one of our best fighters too. More and more Finders are dying every day. It's incredibly unfair for them, I think. They're just ordinary people, working towards a better future. Their sacrifice is just as big as the Exorcists, but they are largely forgotten._

I'm_ not going to forget, though. I've made it a point to make a list of the names of the people who died under my lead. If, no, when this war is over and the Millennium Earl is no longer alive to make more Akuma, then I'm going to go on really long trip and personally inform their family of their deaths. That's what the least I can do for them, right? I'm not going to forget their sacrifices. This way, their family can have some closure instead of wondering over their disappearance. They deserve to know. But not now. Not when the Earl is still around. Later, when the world is safe, when spirits of the dead doesn't return as monstrous creatures made to kill the living. Later. Later._

_Date: 30 April 1889_

_Central has been poking their noses around the place. Personally, I'd love to tell them to fuck off and stop meddling in our business, but it's not really possible, is it? Technically they're our superiors. In practice, none of us really holds any loyalty to them._

_And then, there's this strange cardinal. He doesn't look like a bad person, quite the opposite actually. But there's something _off _about him. Hevlaska has been incredibly jittery around the cardinal, though she won't tell me why. Lenalee had noticed that her Dark Boots have been acting up ever since he came to visit, though her synchronization rate is as high as ever._

_Poor Ellen has been put under even more suspicion. Link was bad enough, but the cardinal has been following her everywhere. She's been banned from any field missions for the foreseeable future thanks to her injuries from fighting Alma. Upset is putting it nicely. She wants to be of help. I assigned her a desk job. Huh. Who knew that being ambidextrous would greatly reduce the time needed to do paperwork?_

_Date: 14 May 1889_

_Ellen's finally cleared for field missions. Thank God. I thought that she would never stop harassing me. The first thing she did when she found out was to get a haircut. Her long hair is now much shorter. Almost like a boy, really. Heh, it reminds me of the time she first came here. We all thought she was a girl, until she angrily told us otherwise. Whoops. Cross' training didn't allow for any kind of ladylike lifestyle, it seems. She had short hair and wore boy's clothing, so we mistook her for a male. Note to self: Find a way to tell apart women from effeminate men (coughKandacough) and men from boyish women. People don't like it when others confuse their gender._

_Reminiscing about the past, makes me think of the better, happier days. How I wish I could go back in time, to when my parents were still alive, and tell them how much I love them. I never did say that before they died. I didn't have the time to. It's probably one of my greatest regrets. I couldn't say 'wŏ ai ni' enough times to them. I was a rebellious teen back then. I was angry at Mother for some petty reason, and in my anger I ran away. When I returned, everything was too late. The only one left was Lenalee._

_Date: 10 June 1889_

_Lenalee and Lavi returned from their mission today, badly wounded. It was supposed to be a normal clean-up mission at a nearby town, nothing they couldn't handle. The only reason I sent them instead of someone who needs more experience, like Chaoji, was because Lenalee and Lavi needed a cooldown. And no, what are you talking about, I'm not playing matchmaker! Why would I do something like that?_

_As hard as it is to believe, it seems that we were sabotaged. Someone found a way to leak the transmissions of our golems, probably a Noah. When they arrived at the location, there were far more Akuma than reported including two Level Threes. They got badly injured thanks to that but thanks to Lenalee's new Crystal Type, they managed to prevent civilian casualty. _

_There has to be a spy in the Order, somewhere. The place was supposed to be relatively safe, only several Level Ones. Heck, we were sure that there weren't anything higher than a Two in the town. But in the span of a week, the numbers drastically increased threefold. It's hard to imagine that this could be caused by anything other than a traitor in our ranks._

_The question is, who?_

_Date: 2 July 1889_

_Ever since Lavi and Lenalee returned back, the tension in this place has been incredibly high. No one's outright accusing each other but there are rumors everywhere. They say that maybe a Noah had managed to sneak in into this place. It's not that hard to figure out who they're blaming._

_Poor Ellen. Isn't it enough that she's suspected for heresy, but they have to accuse her of betrayal as well? I thought we were family! An incredibly close family! What kind of family accuses their own member as a traitor? As dysfunctional as we are, it hurts me to see how people so carelessly hurt each other's feelings. Ellen's done nothing wrong. Why do they insist on treating her like a pariah?_

_Date: 3 August 1889_

_Can't- write- much- right now. Assasination- attempt yesterday- wounded. Will- continue- later._

_Date: 10 August 1889_

_I've been- feeling better now-, even though both of- my legs are in a- cast and- my right hand- was crushed. I'm learning- to write with- my left- hand. Not easy. Thank- goodness- for Ellen's ambide-xtrous-ness. She's been- trying to- teach me- how to write- with my- left hand._

_[on a sheet of paper]_

_Date: 11 August 1889_

_Well, Reever fetched me a typing machine so that I wouldn't be bored. God bless his soul. I can type easily with one hand, though it's rather annoying. Now I can write down everything that's happened lately._

_A little more than a week ago, around midnight, someone snuck into our Headquarters. Don't ask me how, he just did. I haven't read the reports on the attack yet. The person committed suicide before we could take him into custody, so we couldn't question him._

_For a supposed assasin, he wasn't very subtle. Okay, that was probably a gross understatement. He was powerful, though. Very powerful. The autopsy revealed that he had the Third Exorcist's blood infused into his bloodstream. That means he was employed by the Noah family. For all intents and purposes, he was human even with the Third's blood in him. That's probably why Ellen's cursed eye couldn't detect his presence. _

_The first place he targeted was my room. I don't know whether I should be upset or flattered that the Noahs consider me to be a threat. Well I _am_ the Black Order's supervisor, but there are people higher up than I am. Or maybe that's because of my relation with Lenalee. Yes, that's probably it. I was working overtime when he attacked. What? Is it such a surprise that I can be responsible for once? Actually, don't answer the question please. That was a rhetorical question._

_I blacked out right after he threw me across the room (my ribs!), so I don't know what happened later. I do know that it was Marie, with his enhanced hearing, who found out what happened and saved me. I owe him a big one for that. _

_The repercussions of this is something I'm worried about. It's bad enough that we have to face Akuma. Now there are superhuman soldiers used to oppose us, and there's virtually nothing we can do to separate them from normal humans. Not even Ellen's cursed eye can. What's worse, now we have to kill our fellow humans. At least with Akuma, we know that we're freeing their tortured soul and saving them. But now, we have to kill people. People who have a past, a family who love them, who were probably normal before the Noah got their hands on them. What happened to 'Thou Shalt Not Kill'?_

_Date: 15 August 1889_

_We found out who the would-be assasin was. We managed to match his profile with the records of missing people from a nearby police station. He was a man named Simon Carmichael, a building worker with no family who went missing two months ago. His girlfriend reported to the police after she searched for him for a week. That means that he was probably kidnapped by the Noahs and used. _

_I added his name to my List. Just like everyone on it, Simon Carmichael was yet another casualty of the war that has to 'disappear', for the sake of the world._

_Date: 31 August 1889_

_The tension in the air is nearly palpable. Everyone is paranoid. Lenalee nearly busted my gut with her Dark Boots when I snuck upon her. Man, that hurts. Now that we found out about the assasin, everyone's about a hundred times more suspicious and careful. Even Ellen, because her cursed eye can only detect Akuma, not people with Akuma cells in their bloodstream._

_I feel so sorry for Ellen. People treat her almost like an enemy nowadays. I tried to give her more missions away so she wouldn't have to face persecution but even the finders are somewhat afraid of her. Thankfully Link treats her neutrally. I'm sending the both of them on a three week mission to Italy tomorrow, to a place where Innocence is rumored to be. Hopefully by the time they're back the tension has reduced. Hopefully._

_Date: 4 September 1889_

_Bad news. We lost contact with Link and Ellen just a few hours ago. As protocol demands, they need to contact us at least twice a week to inform us of their status. They were reporting in when suddenly the transmission was lost. I think their golem was destroyed, since there was a really loud noise just before we lost contact. I'm considering to send someone to find out what happened, but if there's something that can take down an General-level exorcist then it must be incredibly dangerous._

_Damn, if only Kanda was still around. He's one of our best, but he's MIA. He never returned after the incident with Alma Karma. We could use someone with his fighting skills._

_Date: 17 September 1889_

_Still no news from either Link or Ellen. Lenalee's a wreck. First Kanda, now Ellen. Her world is starting to fall apart. She's still smiling, but I can see it's not sincere. She took it harder than any of us. The Black Order is a lot more gloomy without Ellen being… well, Ellen. I guess I've underestimated how her mere presence cause everyone to cheer up. She's just that way._

_Please be safe, Ellen, Link. You don't know how much we all need you._

_Date: 12 October 1889_

_They've returned. They've returned. Thank God. We had almost given up all hope, but they're back. They're not here yet, but they met a finder and sent us a message through a golem. And Kanda is with them. Apparently they ran into Kanda several weeks ago in Mattel. They spent most of their time nursing him back to health. They would have arrived here sooner, if not for the constant attacks from Akuma and the ones infused with Third Exorcist blood._

_Ellen wasn't taking it easily. I think it's the first time she actually had to take a human life. She was used to killing Akuma, but now she has to kill other humans. She might gladly purify Akuma all the time, but now she's facing human enemies. Since they're human, her cursed eye can't detect it. All in all, it's a perfect weapon against her._

_Date: 20 November 1889_

_Today's a normal day… well, as normal as a day at the Headquarters can be. I've made stunning progress with my personal project- I can't wait until I can show it to Lenalee!_

_There're rumors about a small town in Austria that possibly holds innocence. Will send finders to check._

_Kanda and Timothy had a fight. Kanda was pranked on. Try to make sure they don't kill each other. Well, low chance of success there… actually, I'm pretty sure that Kanda won't kill him. Maim him, on the other hand…_

_Bak sent a message yesterday, about you-know-what. Little progress so far. Unfortunately the city archives are partially destroyed. We have no idea whether the information we are seeking still exist or not._

_Date: 31 Nov- wait, no that's wrong, 1 December 1889 (I must be getting senile)_

_We held a funeral today, for several finders who died on their mission. Well, it's a funeral in name only, really. There aren't any coffins or even bodies. They were turned to dust by Akuma poison. _

_Jeanne Morrison_

_Daniel Perry_

_Charlie Black_

_I will remember those names, just like I remember all of the others. Three more names to be added on my List. At this point, I can't even bring myself to count the number of names I have on my conscience._

_The mission to Austria was a trap… _

_I should have seen it coming, huh? I feel so bad for just writing this but I'm glad that I didn't send any exorcists with them. We do not have any to spare. But maybe… maybe if I sent someone along, they would have lived._

_I'm a lousy superior, huh? They trusted me, and I sent them to their deaths._

_I should have known it was a trap. After the last attack, it should be expected. The town was filled with Akuma. Damn, if only we had an Akuma detecting device, or at least, something that can detect Dark Matter. But Dark Matter is incredibly unstable and dangerous. Just like Innocence, Dark Matter cannot be sensed by scientific means. My theory is that the particles of Innocence and Dark Matter vibrate at a different frequency from normal particles, and that is why they are undetectable. It also may explain why the Noah of Pleasure cannot pass through Innocence, it is due to the unique frequency of vibration. Every object has a different frequency, especially between humans, but it is always within a certain limit. Innocence and Dark Matter, however, is beyond that limit. An accomodator synchronizes with their Innocence by altering their own frequency to match their Innocence. The closer it is with the Innocence, the higher their synch-rate. Accomodators become Fallen when the Innocence's frequency changes… or when their body refuses to change its frequency._

_Of course, there's a very big possibility that my theory is completely wrong. It's not like I have any scientific basis for that. I mean, it would be incredibly hard to find a sample of Dark Matter that is stable and safe enough to analyze, much less actually building a machine to measure its frequency. We're on a tight enough budget as it is! I don't think that Central would be willing to give us more funds for- oh, Reever is calling. I guess I should finish this entry later._

_Date: 3 December 1889_

_Guess what._

_Reever read my notebook._

_The one containing my notes about my personal projects and theories._

_I really should kill him for that._

_I don't care if it was lying around like it's garbage! It's personal for a reason!_

_He should have known better. What part of 'Do Not Open' does he not understand?_

_Great, now he knows everything I've been trying to conceal._

_If Lenalee finds out, then Reever is going to pay._

_Maybe I should sic some of my 'bots on him. Yes, that sounds like a good idea..._

_Oh wait. The blueprints were in my notebook. He'd figure out their weakness in no time. Damn._

_On the other hand, he found out my theory about Innocence and Dark Matter. _

_Surprisingly, he agreed with it and wanted to help prove it._

_He thinks it has something to do with their basic atomic and molecular structure. He also said something about the dual property of light photons, how it acts like both a wave and a particle. If he's right, then Innocence probably has similar properties._

_All of this is making my head hurt. _

_We're no closer to figuring out how to prove our theory. Yeah, the Blak Order is probably decades (or even centuries) ahead in terms of scientific knowledge compared to the rest of the world, but we still have no idea on how to test our theory._

_He thinks that the rest of my projects are impossible, though._

_I don't believe him._

_I'm going to prove him wrong, just wait and see. The Great Komui Lee will make those dreams come true!_

_Even though they're still formulae and blueprints on paper…_

_I can't fail. I just can't. For Lenalee's sake, I have to prevail._

_Date: 15 December 1889_

_General Cross sent us a message through Timcanpy yesterday. Somehow (don't ask me how) he managed survived and escaped. Something about an 'Apocryphos' and using the Grave of Maria to escape. Poor Ellen nearly had a heart attack at the image of her Master projected by Tim._

_He brought us grave news, though. According to what he's discovered, the Earl has begun the final stage of his plan, to bring back the Great Flood like during the time of the biblical Noah. Finally, all of the members of the Noah family had awakened, not including the Fourteenth. Apparently, the Ark can only completely function when all members of the Clan is present, which is probably why the Earl never really went serious against us- he was just biding time for the rest of the Family to awaken. At least, that's what I think. _

_Anyways, in a stroke of irony and black humor, the Earl decided to carry out his plans on Christmas day. Huh. I always thought that the Noahs have a real sense of irony. It was only thanks to General Cross' converted Akuma, that he found out of the plan._

_We're planning to mobilize the entire Black Order to face this threat. All of us, including the Finders. Everyone's preparing themselves. On the eve of the 21__rd__, Ellen will use the Ark gates to transport us to Mount Ararat, where the new Ark is located (Coincidence…? Or irony?) We're planning to ambush them and destroy their new Ark. Hopefully, Ellen can use her abilities to assist us with this._

_I've got no delusions. It's incredibly unlikely that we can come out of this without any casualties. I think I've seen several people already preparing their wills and writing letters. In case I don't survive, and someone's found this… my Will is in the drawer of the desk in my room. You know what to do with that. If you're reading this Lenalee… please be strong. I love you._

_Date: 19 December 1889_

_Reever and the rest of the Science division helped me create more robots. This time, they're specifically designed to fight Akuma. They're tougher than normal humans and I implemented a special battle AI in their program. In the last test, they managed to defeat Level Three Akumas by cooperating with each other. Network linking makes it surprisingly easy. Overall, I'd guess it was pretty impressive for work done in under a week. I've been designing their blueprints for a long time, though. Eh, I guess Pet Project#3 is no longer a secret. Designing and making Komurins helped, since they had a similar basic structure._

_We made Ellen a General yesterday. I guess we have to call her 'General Walker' now, eh? It's rather uncomfortable on my tongue. Maybe I still see her as the little girl who could barely fight off Kanda, instead of the strong, confident Destroyer of Time. Anyways, we decided that she should be the one to lead us, since she's the one who can control the Ark and all. She was rather upset that we were using the robots I made, but Leverrier forced her to. First time I didn't disagree with anything the bastard said. I guess there has to be a first for everything._

_Ellen doesn't like the robots. She's afraid that destroying Akuma without using Innocence would destroy their souls. She's seen the soul of a self-destructing Akuma before, and it wasn't pretty. I guess having the ability to see Akuma souls is truly a curse. It's not something I'd wish on anyone, well maybe barring the Earl and the Noah clan._

_I don't like it either! But there isn't any other choice. If this is the price for the war, then so be it. I've tested it several times, and it works quite well. If my creations can prevent people from dying and decrease the death toll, then I'm willing to do it._

_Date: 21 December 1889 _

_Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck._

_It was a trap. A fucking trap._

_The moment we went through the gates, everything went FUBAR, SNAFU, whatever phrase you like to choose. We had expected the Noah family to be on guard, of course, but we hadn't considered that the Earl had the ability to destroy Ark gateways. We were trapped, and that Noah of Pleasure kidnapped her. We played right ino their hands. They've been wanting to have Ellen all along. As of now, we're still looking for her but the only thing we've managed to accomplish is getting split up and tiring ourselves. The only people I have with me is Kanda and Lavi, and we've managed to get ourselve helplessly lost in the Ark._

_I'm not sure if I'll get killed by Noah, akuma, or those two. Probably not the latter, though I've came close to being Kanda's 'stress relief'. _

_Note to self: Find a way to make Kanda and Lavi cooperate with each other._

_Secondary note: Find something to do that has a higher success probability than 10%, idiot!_

_Tertiary note: What were you thinking, making Kanda and Lavi cooperate with each other? Do you _want _to cause the Apocalypse?_

_Maybe I should have just let them argue. Seeing them getting along is giving me the creeps._

_Though on the bright side, Kanda and Lavi have great teamwork, well when they're not arguing, that is._

_They're sca~ry when they work together. It makes me feel glad that only certain people are compatible with Innocence. And I'm even more glad that they aren't the 'omnicidal maniac' type._

_I don't even want to think about the havoc a military dictator can wreak if they had Innocence under their command! Innocence can be incredibly destructive, and can have disastrous results when used in conventional warfare. The main reason why the War is so difficult is because it's not a public war. We use a lot of resources to prevent the existence of Akuma from being known by the general public. It would cause a lot of chaos, which is the last thing we need! _

_Date: 22 December 1889 (Log. 1)_

_Kanda and Lavi had an argument last night. Couldn't sleep, but it wasn't like I'd sleep well even without their, surprisingly low key, argument. When you're in enemy territory, it's best not to cause much noise. Thankfully those two aren't complete idiots! They kept their arguments to a bare whisper, and we set up a nightwatch schedule. I was the first and spent most of the time working on _

_We ran into Miranda and Inspector Link today. They're not injured, thank God. I was worried, since Miranda doesn't have offensive abilities and Link doesn't even have an Innocence! Time Record is useful and all, especially when trying to get injured allies to safely, but it has zero offensive attacks and one defensive attack that she can only maintain for a short while._

_Now I'm starting to get worried about Lenalee. The last time I saw her, she was fending off the Noah with parasites along with Krory. I'm really worried. Maybe Krory would be immune, thanks to his parasitic Innocence, but Lenalee isn't. She might be the first Crystal-type, but that makes me worry even more. There isn't much that we know about Crystal-types. We don't know any possible advantages or drawbacks it has, or whether it would make her immune to that Noah's parasites. I trust her abilities and all, but I can't help but get worried._

_Lenalee, please be safe…_

_Date: 22 December 1889 (Log. 2)_

_I think that I spoke, err, wrote, too soon. About Miranda's Innocence, I mean._

_Remember what I said about Time Record having no offensive attacks and only one defense? Not over two hours ago, when we were searching for other members of our group, three Level Four Akuma attacked us. We fought off with everything we could (I'm really starting to miss Ellen and the other Generals…) but we were cornered. Neither Lavi nor Kanda could use their innocence any longer from exhaustion, and all but one of my robots were destroyed in the first ten minutes._

_(Hmm. Maybe Ellen had a point about how useless they were. On paper they're powerful, but in actual combat they're nothing more than distractions. Flashy, expensive, and annoying distractions)_

_Obviously, we didn't die. Else, I wouldn't be able to write this down right now. But it was a close call. Had it not been for Miranda's Innocence evolving at the last second, we would've been dead. _

_Innocence work in strange ways. They cause strange phenomenons whenever they're found. They don't obey the laws of physics at all! They're also somewhat sentient, and can change forms and increase its abilities, just like how Ellen's anti-akuma weapon changes its form from Cross alpha, to Crown Clown, and into her Sword of Exorcism. Or how Lenalee's Innocence evolved into a Crystal type almost a year ago, which I had the dubious honor of witnessing. I still have nightmares about it, even now._

_Miranda's Innocence has power over time. Specifically, it allows her to pause and rewind time as she pleases. That is the basis of her abilities, Time Out and and Time Recovery. They are non-offensive abilities, and can only be maintained for a short while. Her new form, however… well, it's rather confusing. I think that the only one who can understand it is Miranda herself. _

_The new Time Record takes the form of a massive hourglass surrounded by three statues; that of a baby, a young maiden, and an old crone. They represent the abilities Miranda can use, or so she said._

_I've only seen one of the abilities Miranda used. It was represented by The Crone, and when she used it, the statue glowed brightly. The ability was called Time Warp, and it conjures a circular field around the target. Within the field, time is Miranda's to command. I've seen her use it to rapidly increase the speed of time, making the Akuma age and crumble into dust. The downside is that it affects everything within the field, including allies. I've seen the grass slowly turning yellow, drying and dying, wilting like a water lily in the dry season. It wasn't pretty. And besides, it can only be maintained for as long as there is still some sand in the upper part of the hourglass. It will probably increase along with her synch-rate, which is somewhere around 80%._

_Date: 23 December 1889_

_It's the twenty third, and we're beginning to run out of supplies. Lavi had the foresight to bring instant food with him, but even though we rationed it, there's not much left. With all the fighting we've been doing, we can't afford to starve ourselves either. None of us are Parasitic Innocence users, thank God, but by its very nature, using Innocence takes out a lot of energy from its user. Innocence is used for battle, after all. It's very tiring, especially for one with an active style of combat like Lenalee._

_Lenalee. I really miss her. It might only be a few days since I've seen her, but with every passing second I grow more and more anxious. I believe in her power, of course, she is a skilled Exorcist, but I'm her brother, dammit! I have eveyr right to be worried! What if- no, Komui, calm down… calm down. Lenalee will be fine. She will be. She has to be. If not… no, don't think about those things!_

…

_God, if you do exist, wherever you are, then please, I beg of you… watch over Lenalee._

_Date: 24 December 1889_

_It's been several days since we were separated. In that time, there had been nearly no time between constant fighting and battle. This place is filled with akuma! I've lost count of how many of them we've encountered. Level ones might be dumber than rocks (oh wait… that's an insult to rocks) but hundreds of them can overwhelm even the most skilled exorcist._

_It's really tiring me out. The one robot I have left, which I've decided to call Mr. O'bot (haha, lame pun, I know), has a solar power cell. The only thing it can do is protecting me from akuma. And it's damn good at it, too. I feel so proud *sniffle*. Come to daddy, Mr. O'bot!_

_~Ahem. Yes. Back on topic._

_Timcanpy arrived a few hours ago, with a message from Lenalee. She's fine, thank God. She's with Krory and General Nine. They've been searching around for Ellen, but so far no success. Lenalee's rather roughed up and Lau Shimin is injured, but they're holding off on their own quite well. _

_I just wish that I'm not so useless right now. There's nothing I can really do, other than being a hindrance. Heh… I can't even fight, I don't even know how to throw a punch right. If I somehow survive this insanity, then I'm going to learn some martial arts. Bad enough that I can't fight, but I refuse to remain nothing but a nuisance for the rest of my life!_

_Tomorrow is Christmas. Not just any Christmas, though. Tomorrow is the day that the Earl will begin his plan to call the Great Flood. If he does succeed, then humanity will be wiped off from the surface of the earth. I do wonder, though… what do they need Ellen for? The Fourteenth isn't a part of the original clan, the Fourteenth is nothing but an anomaly, a freak accident. Why would they take such pains to capture Ellen and kidnap her?_

_Another thing that I find strange is the fact that we haven't encountered any Noahs since we entered this place. The last time we met one was when they kidnapped Ellen. We haven't met them since, though akumas keep appearing every so often. It worries me. What are they planning, and what does it had to do with Ellen?_

_Date: 25 December 1889_

_It's time._

_The last phase of the Millennium Earl's plan has begun. We've finally managed to meet up with Lenalee, Krory, and General Nine. We don't know where the others are, though. _

_I don't have much time to write. We're preparing to give our all in this final battle. If we fail… well, then probably there wouldn't be anyone left to read this anyway._

_May God be with us._

_TBC_

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><p>O~kay. This ended up longer than I thought. Longest chapter to date, whoot! This is more meant to explain the things that led to the events in the story proper, though it's going to be explained in more detail later. Some of them puts a new spin to Komui's action in DGM canon, like why he forgot about General Cross' letter or why he paired Ellen and Kanda in the Mattel arc. Also, a much-needed (IMHO) powerup for Miranda, who I feel sorry for since she doesn't has any attacks in canon. ;P I mean, I know that she's more of a supporttemporary medic but it's kinda unfair to her, don'tcha think? The Innocence/Dark Matter thingy… is my own, pseudo-scientific take on why only specific people can wield Innocence (because few people can synchronize their 'frequency'), but it's also gonna be important in the story. (Hint: Frequency - Sound - Musical note - ? - profit! ;D) I know that the science of quantum physics is a relatively new field, but in all honesty the Science Division is already really far ahead in terms of knowledge and science. I mean, gigantic robots (coughkomurincough), really? And golems? Zombie-creating serums? _Deaging _serums? Besides, it's only about six decades before the first nuclear bomb is created. It's not that far off, really! And now you now what the eponymous 'List' is. _ The next chapter… is going to take some time to finish.

I realize that this probably doesn't follow canon DGM timeline. I don't really care about the details (like the exact date when the Rewinding Town arc is set), but I'll try to make it as close to canon as possible. And the thing about an Innocence-caused blizzard in the middle of summer? Hey, if an Innocence can freakin' rewind time in an entire town, then it can cause weather anomalies easily, especially if it has weather-controlling properties. This fic diverges from the canon storyline after the Alma Karma arc. In this fic, Ellen wasn't imprisoned in the dungeons and didn't need to be broken out by Tyki and Road. She wasn't declared a Noah either. Kanda obviously survived, thanks to his Second Exorcist program-granted regenerative abilities. And it's an AU from there.

Mount Ararat is a mountain in Turkey, where the biblical Noah's Ark supposedly landed after the Great Flood. The Akuma Egg is an eldritch abomination that should be destroyed, with fire and holy water if necessary. Repeatedly. It's just one of the things Man Was Not Meant to Know. Akumas are perversions of nature and cosmic law, so why would you think that its origin would be anything less than monstrous?

More explanation, not obligatory reading but just me meddling my way into canon and trying to make a pseudoscientific!explanation:

As Komui had stated, cells from the Akuma Egg merged with Alma Karma to make some primitive version of Akuma-human hybrid cells. They work a lot like a virus, that is they take over the 'host cells' to make more of their own kind, destroying the host cell in the process. However, the Egg cells do it differently. Instead of hijacking the host cell's genetic material, they instead _fuse _with the DNA, radically altering its structure and turning it into a hybrid cell. Think a really bad case of mutation, but the end result is Alma's own body and the hybrid cells are fighting for dominance. Alma's body will inevitably loose, but thanks to his regeneration ability it's a slow war instead of a complete beatdown. The Thirds, on the other hand, received the Alma/Akuma hybrid cells. They have a similar effect, but thanks to Alma's genetic material mixed in the process is way slower. Instead of weeks or days, it takes years. Of course, as the process repeats itself the hybrid cells will get tamer and tamer with so much human DNA added. The desired outcome is for future Thirds that can completely control their Akuma cells without their body breaking down or loosing to bloodlust.

The process of creating Akuma, I imagine, is similar. The Egg cells are grafted into metallic skeletons, unused until someone seeks to resurrect someone they love. When the Earl comes and they call for the deceased's name then the soul will be forcibly tied to the skeleton, turning into Level Zeros. Then they kill the one who tried to resurrect them and the Egg cells forcibly assimilate their DNA, allowing them to make a clone of it. Of course, the more body parts they have the better, because it will allow to make a better clone. The soul is the glue that binds it together, the outer shell of the body, the metallic 'core', and the akuma's mind (a mix-and-mash combination of the resurrector and the resurrect-ee). The bloodvirus, which kills any living beings upon contact, is just a really, really vicious version of the Egg cells. Instead of assimilating and turning into hybrid cells, they instead completely destroy any living cells they happen to chance upon like corrosive acid.

-Geeze. I really need to stop forcefeeding readers with my explanation, don't I? Worry not, the next chapter won't be so heavy … hopefully, since it's from Lenalee's PoV. Komui's a scientific person, he can't help but think of science-y explanations for everything. God, the Author's note alone is a thousand-something words.

Eleven thousand words, whoot! Awesome! Don't forget to review guys (and girls)! Tell me what you think.


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